FAQs/Myths and Facts « Center For Relationship Abuse Awareness. Frequently Asked Questions/Myths and Facts. Relationship Abuse FAQs. Isn’t Relationship Abuse a Rare Occurrence? No. Worldwide, including in the United States, men will commit relationship abuse or sexual assault against at least one in three women.* On average more than three women a day are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in the United States.** Women and children are more at risk of violence in their homes and relationships, by men they know, than in the street. Domestic violence never shows up in statistics as much as it occurs. Thank you so much for this post. I’ve suffered from the effects of gaslighting from my father His favorite tactic is just to deny my reality — for instance.Intimate Partner Violence in the United States. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics (2. Visit the Futures Without Violence website for more information on the prevalence of domestic violence. Does Relationship Abuse Happen in Same- Gender Relationships? Relationship abuse occurs at roughly the same rate in same- gender relationships as it does in heterosexual relationships. The elements of abusive relationships are similar for heterosexual and homosexual relationships, and there can be different tactics of control used; for instance, the abusive partner may threaten to out the other partner to family or professors. The Texas Association Against Sexual Assault is committed to ending sexual violence in Texas through education, prevention and advocacy. In the meantime, we desire to. The following statement in response to donations made by political campaigns to the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual & Domestic Violence (ACESDV) should be attributed. Outcomes for Teenage Child Bearing: What the Data Shows Preface The Schuyler Center for Analysis and Advocacy (SCAA) released Growing Up in New York: Charting the. Statistics on Violence & Peace. Many of us have become inured to the presence of violence. Its ubiquity in the news and, for some of us, in our own neighborhoods has. An individual’s size, strength, politics or personality does not determine whether she or he could be abused or an abuser. In our still largely homophobic society, the threat of “outing” someone who is not ready can be used to isolate and silence a person who is experiencing relationship abuse. For more information, please see our resources on Same Gender & LGBT Relationships. Does Relationship Abuse Happen to Teens? Women of all ages are at risk for domestic and sexual violence by a male partner, and those ages 2. One in five U. S. Adapted from Catalano, Shannan. Intimate Partner Violence in the United States. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics (2. Tween and Teen Dating Violence and Abuse Study, Teenage Research Unlimited for Liz Claiborne Inc. Isn’t Relationship Abuse Caused by Alcohol? No. Abuse is a choice. Although alcohol and drugs are often associated with relationship abuse (because so many people drink in general), they do not cause the violence. A lot of people drink and use drugs and most people do not abuse. Not all abusers drink and not all people who drink are abusive. Violence often continues even after an abuser stops drinking. Adapted from Emerge! Center Against Domestic Abuse. See What Causes Relationship Abuse for more information. Does Mental Illness Cause Relationship Abuse? Personality disorders, mental illness, poor impulse control, and generational abuse do not cause relationship abuse. Even in cases where a particular mental illness may cause a person to be abusive (such as Alzheimers), the abuse is not specifically targeted at one person but to everyone around during the episode. However, abusers who are severely depressed or isolated may stop caring about the consequences of their actions. Adapted from Emerge! Center Against Domestic Abuse. See What Causes Relationship Abuse for more information. Does Poverty Cause Domestic Violence? No. Domestic violence occurs in all socioeconomic groups. Many people are poor and most people do not choose to abuse their partners. There are studies that report that there is more abuse in low- income populations and there are studies that report that there is more abuse in higher- income populations. Many statistics are skewed because they come from public agencies, city hospitals, police departments, social service agencies and the courts. Since upper middle class individuals are often less likely to seek services from a public agency, they are not included in these stats. In low income groups, there is often decreased access to resources which can be a barrier to leaving an abusive relationship. In addition, during “hard” economic times, nationally, domestic violence resources are often cut and can impact the likelihood that survivors of any economic class can access safety. Adapted in part from Emerge! Center Against Domestic Abuse. See What Causes Relationship Abuse for more information. Don’t Low Self Esteem and Stress Cause Abuse? Domestic violence is not caused by stress. Many people are stressed and do not choose to abuse. Many people have low self esteem and do not choose to abuse. See What Causes Relationship Abuse for more information. Doesn’t Abuse Occur Due to Anger Issues or the Perpetrator Losing Control? Abuse is not about anger management. For example, abusers do not choose to hit their bosses or TAs, no matter how angry they are. Domestic violence is not a result of the perpetrator losing control; The abuse is targeted and controlled—perpetrators choose to be violent only against their intimate partners. See What Causes Relationship Abuse for more information. How Do We Hold Abusers Accountable? Holding abusers accountable is important because it sends a message to others that abuse of any kind will not be tolerated in our community. Therefore, it is important for us to hold abusers accountable on an individual level as well. Teach your children that violence is never the answer to a problem, and that controlling another person is wrong. Don’t Women Abuse Just as Much as Men Do? No. According to the U. S. Bureau of Justice, 9. However, men can be victims and women can be perpetrators, and domestic violence occurs in same- gender relationships. This is not to minimize, in any way, the experience of men as survivors of relationship abuse, but instead to highlight the fact that this is a type of gender violence. This also does not mean all men are abusive. In the same way that all NFL players are men, but most men aren’t NFL players—most abusers are men, but most men aren’t abusive. Finally, these stats do not include child abuse.* National Crime Victimization Survey: Criminal Victimization, 2. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. Bureau of Justice Statistics Selected Findings: Violence Between Inmates (NCJ- 1. November 1. 99. 4; A Report of the Violence Against Women Research Strategic Planning Workshop sponsored by the National Institute of Justice in cooperation with the U. S. Department of Health and Human Services, 1. But What About Those Studies That Show Women Are Just as Violent as Men? These studies use a research tool called the “Conflict Tactics Scale,” which does not control for the context in which the violence occurred, such as use of force in self- defense or retaliation. So, for example, if a man is strangling a woman and she scratches him to get him to stop, they each get “one point” on the conflict tactics scale for use of violence! Even more significantly, if a woman has been abused by a man for years, he pushes her into the wall, and she picks up a knife, brandishes it and says “get away from me,” she will get two points and he will get one. This is the substance of studies that found women are more violent than or as violent as men. Furthermore, other studies consistently find that no matter what the rate of violence or who initiates the violence, women are 7 to 1. Adapted from Susan Mc. Gee, Minerva, Inc. For more information, please see A Critique of the Conflict Tactics Scale (PDF). So, is Mutual Abuse a Myth? There is almost always a dominant aggressor; someone whose actions are part of a larger pattern of abusive behavior. The dominant aggressor is “the person determined to be the most significant, rather than the first aggressor.” Studies that say abuse is mutual are based on inaccurate tools such as CTS or surveys that failed to control for context. The myth of mutual abuse contributes to wrongful arrests due to improper investigation and contributes to a cyclical misunderstanding of the existence of mutual abuse. In addition, the myth of mutual abuse is dangerous for victims who may have used self- defense because it colludes with the perpetrator who tells the victim that it is the victim’s fault. Please see What is Wrong With Mutual Orders of Protection and Some Thoughts on the Myth of Mutual Abuse. Isn’t Most Violence Against Women Committed by Strangers? No. Only 1. 4% of physical assaults against women are committed by strangers.**Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes. Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, 1. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, National Institute of Justice, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Why Don’t Women in Abusive Relationships Just Leave Their Partners? Many people ask “Why doesn’t the victim leave? Why does the victim stay?” as if it is that simple. It is important to understand that there are many barriers to safety in an abusive relationship. The better question is “Why does the abuser do this and how can I help the survivor gain access to safety?” There are many factors an abused partner must consider in the analysis of how to respond to an abusive partner. The reality is that the most dangerous time for a survivor/victim is when she leaves the abusive partner; 7. These concerns are very real and must be addressed with safety planning. Please see Barriers to Leaving for more information. What About Culture? All cultures have both traditions of resistance to relationship abuse as well as forms of acceptance of it. Abuse is not inherent or natural to any culture or group — it is always a choice, and focusing on culture takes the focus away from accountability. Perpetrators need to be held accountable in every culture and with equality (e. Culture is ultimately defined by the individual, so ask a survivor about her definition of her culture before making any assumptions and recognize that every individual has the right to live a life free from violence and abuse. See What Causes Relationship Abuse for more information. Won’t Therapy for the Abuser Stop the Violence? Referral of a batterer to a Batterer Intervention Program (BIP) or therapy often provides victims with a false sense of security.
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